What I Wish I Knew When I "Wasn't Okay"

So much has changed as I have aged. I didnt know about things like World Mental Health Day. I never heard people say "It's okay to not be okay". No one I knew ever talked about getting mental health help. I didnt know anyone that had been to a counsellor, psychologist or social worker. My doctors had never talked to me about the impact of chronic pain and mental health.

So there I was.

Away at college. Isolated. In pain 3/4 weeks of the month on average. I was exhausted. I felt alone. And it took a toll. But no one ever told me that the pain would impact every aspect of my life. They just told me to try a different medication. Or that they didnt understand.No one told me that the pain would invade every aspect of my life. That I wouldnt be able to sleep. That some days I would be too sick to eat. That sometimes I wouldnt be able to do anything more that the bare minimum. That all of this would leave me feeling this emptiness that I wouldnt understand. That the physical pain would cut to the core of my being and that without the right care I would become depressed. No one ever told me any of that.

 Invisible illnesses have their own struggles too. When you look okay, people expect you to be okay. I wasnt okay. I was suffering in silence for a long time. And I dont want that for anyone else.

I wish that over a decade ago someone told me that our physical health can impact our mental health.

That it truly is okay to not be okay.

That you dont have to suffer alone.

That no matter how alone you feel, there is someone that understands.

That getting help is brave no something to be ashamed of.

That there are so many people out there that truly want to help.

That there are a myriad of resources for mental health help.

I wish that back then I knew what I know now. That I could go back to those long days of darkness and suffering and offer a hand. A shoulder to cry on. A non judgemental listening friend. To provide resources that could help. To have someone be open about their struggles so I didnt feel so alone. To know from any one that it was okay to need help. And that getting help was brave.

I keep a list of local resources in my office drawer. I dont want anyone to ever feel that alone.
I check in with everyone that passes into my office to make sure they have resources they can access if needed. I work to create openness so that everyone knows that its okay to ask for help.

If you want help and dont know where to start, let me know. I will help you connect with someone.

You do not have to suffer alone.

I have been there. I am more okay now than I ever imagined and I still reach out. Because I know its okay to not be okay. And I know that helping myself allows me to help others.

Reach out.